Selfish Dances
by Anotherfacelessdemigod
Summary: He nods, and through the hurt of it all, he says the only lie he's ever told Emma Swan to make her feel better. "As you wish."
1. Chapter 1

**Selfish Dances.**

_**. . .**_

Hi... So, I hope you enjoy this. No beginning quotes are mine. No characters are mine. The plot, the hurt, the bravery... Is my own imagination.

_**. . .**_

_**Selfish Dances.**_

_**By Anotherfacelessdemigod.**_

_**. . .**_

_"And in everything that came afterwards, I could never stop thinking that maybe she loved mysteries so much... She became one." _

**~John Green **_**(Looking For Alaska).**_

_"To me, grief is a devastating numbness, every sensation dulled."_

**~Veronica Roth **_**(Allegiant).**_

_**. . .**_

He's watching Henry sleep, when he hears the voice.

"Captain."

Hook turns, his expression one of knowledge; for lately he's been the one who's been reading everyone's mind. Neel stands before him, and Hook can't help but look at him again because he's _no longer a boy._

No. He's the man who stands between he and Emma. But, nevertheless, Hook pushes his hurt aside and says, "Yes, Baelfi-I mean, Neal. Excuse me."

Hook glances at Henry again. They saved him not to long ago, now they're heading back twards the ship. But the atmosphere isn't all-too friendly.

"It's fine." Neal says. He's inches taller than Killian, now. "I... Need to ask you something."

Hook stands straighter. "Okay. What is it?"

He has to restrain himself from adding the word _boy_ to the sentence, because, to Killian, that's what Baelfire _is. _He's a boy trapped inside a man's body, trying to grow up but ever-failing.

Perhaps he'll always fail, Hook thinks, and once glance at Baelfire gives him that concern. "Well," Neal says, tredding carefully. Hook sighs.

"Out with it, mate. I don't have all afternoon. The fire needs tending and the Charming's aren't much better." The pirate states.

"I wanted to ask about Emma."

Killian bristles.

_Emma._

_The girl who will never love him back._

"What of Emma?" He asks, and he can feel himself becoming secretive again.

Apparently, Neal can _see _it. "I just want you to know, she's mine. I'm going to fight for her. Even if that means I have to fight you."

"I hope you don't mean with swords, lad. Because if you do, you're a fish out of water."

Neal throws his hands, exasperated. "Hook!"

Killian's easygoing smile melts. His shoulders slump. And for just a split second, Neal can see it. Everyone can. They can all see the grief, the pain, the hurt, all that's collected onto Killian's shoulders in thousands of millions of years.

It's more than one man could bare, and, really, it's astounding that Hook is still sane.

But maybe he's not.

Maybe he left them a while ago.

"Oh, Baelfire. Baelfire, Baelfire, _Baelfire._" Hook walks into the camp (which is deserted except for Charming, who's been sharpening his sword and listening to the two men's conversation in quiet observation), and sits on a log, the one by Henry. "I know, boy. I know. It's as clear as day you love her and that you'll fight for the lass. It's clear I love her dearly... But I won't fight."

Henry gives out a light snore, and Hook gently takes off her coat and lays it on the boy.

Neal's expression changes from determination to confusion. Across the clearing, Charming looks up, also confused. To clarify, Killian states, "It's not my choice, see. It's Swan's. To be honest, I'll be hurt. I'll be extremely hurt. But I'm used to it, the dullness of every sensation. But there's things you don't realize of her, Bae."

Neal raises an eyebrow. Charming stands, unseen by the two men, and walks over to them. "Oh yeah?" Asks Neal.

"Yeah?" Repeats Charming. Hook glances at the prince, and nods ever-so-slightly, before locking eyes once again with Neal. He looks sort-of broken when he says, "Yes. She's her own person. You believe you can win her over, by heroic feets, and you bloody might, but, in the name of the Seven Seas, she's got her secrets, mate. She's got her reasons. She's not stupid. She's a soldier, her own person, as I've said before. I can't change that. I just want her to be happy. Real love isn't selfish, mate. And maybe she doesn't love me back, but I'm not going to hold her to me. That would be selfish." Hook takes a breath, and looks down at his shoes. "That's why I told Emma you were alive, Bae. Because I knew she loved you. I just want her to smile. I'm not selfish on love."

A thoughtful silence follows, then, Neal says, "I'm not selfish. I just think she belongs with me, and that we're better together."

Hook lifts a brow. Charming chuckles. "That's selfish love, Neal." He says. Then he turns to Hook, "I was wrong about you, pirate. You're good for her."

Hook shakes his head, but says nothing. Just then, the voice of three women and one man fill the air. "Emma!"

"What?"

"I... I dropped the firewood!"

"Really, Mary? What the hell is up with you today? First the food, now the wood?"

"I think she's just gone butterfingers," mutters Regina.

"You're not the only one," Gold agrees. Snow glares.

The three men step away from each other, and Hook takes the wood from Snow. "I've got it, ma'am."

"Thank you, Hook." She says, glancing at Emma. The air becomes awkward, full of words that no one wants to say. But, as it's been lately, Hook's the one to say what's important, to keep the moment alive, keep the atmosphere friendly. "So, ladies, I heard that the people in Storybrooke haven't had a ball in decades. Why not one now?" The people in the clearing look to one another.

"Now?" Asks Emma.

"Why not?" Retorts Hook. The two stand there, and that's when Charming makes a decision.

"M'lady," he bows to Snow, and the woman giggles, "may I have this dance?"

"You may." She responds, and, despite the fact that David won't be coming back with them (at least not yet, they haven't figured out how to break the, magick), she smiles. And they dance. Gold waves his hand, and, music begins. He stands next to Regina. The two aren't much for balls. Henry wakes up groggily, and Emma rushes to his side. "Hey, kid." She says.

But Neal's sticking his hand out, face turned away from hers. "Wanna dance?"

Emma glances at Henry. "But..."

Hook puts a hand on her shoulder. "That's why I'm here." He says quietly. Emma smiles, taking Neal's hand.

The two walk awkwardly towards Charming and Snow.

Hook sits next to Henry. "My parents." Henry whispers. Hoom glances at him, and Henry catches his eye. "You love my mother."

"I do." Killian responds. It's no use hiding it.

"Neal loves my mom."

"He does."

"Who does my mom love?" Henry wonders.

Charming prefers Hook.

Hook wants what's best for his Emma, knows that a Princess and a Pirate is a scandal, and so he prefers Neal.

Neal wants himself.

But it's really all up to Emma. And what does Emma want?

They must simply wait and see.

And so, despite the pain in his chest and the lump in his throat, Killian says to Henry, "She'll love whoever she wishes."

But then the song ends and she leaves Neal, and she sticks her hand out to Hook. "C'mon, Pirate." She smirks. And Killian smiles. He takes her hand, despite the knowledge not to because he'll _just get hurt._

But despite that, when an old seaman's song plays, Killian and Emma take to the floor, Henry and Charming smiling, Regina, Gold, and Snow observing, and Neal frowning.

Killian knows he's going to get hurt, knows that numb feeling won't go away. But he also knows Emma Swan loves mysteries. And maybe that's what happened to her; she loved mysteries so much, she became one. But mysteries have good surprises.

They spin on the floor, and Emma says, "I don't want to love you. Or anyone. I just want my son."

Killian cocks his head. "Okay."

"So, I need you to tell me you don't love me."

"I can't do that."

Emma sighs, "Then... Tell me you'll get over me."

_It took him three hundred years to get over goddamned Milah._

But still, Killian says three words that he'll say over and over again, the one lie he tells Emma to make her happy.

_"As you wish."_

_**. . .**_

_"Yes, I can see her perfectly in this cracked Darkness." _

**~John Green **_**(Paper Town)**_**.**

_"But now, I am also learning this: we can be mended. We can mend each other." _

**~Veronica Roth **_**(Allegiant)**_**.**

_**. . .**_

I'd like to thank you for reading this. I couldn't really decide on the ending. Did you like it? I'm thinking of writing another Captain Swan multi-fic. Should I?

Pleae review, it helps!

_Thanks to Tadpole24, who continues to inspire me whenever I read her fics._

_To the whole cast and crew of OUAT! Without them, my analyzing skills would still suck ._

_To my readers, my reviewers, and my followers/favoriters. You make my day and I love you all!_

_As Veronica Roth would say... Be brave. Bye!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Selfish Dances 02.**

_**. . .**_

_"And I'd give up Forever to touch you_

_'Cause I know that you'd feel me,_

_Somehow._

_You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be_

_And I don't wanna go home right now."_

**~Goo Goo Dolls **_**(Iris).**_

_"People couldn't believe what I'd become_

_Revulotionaries swayed_

_From my hand, a silver blade."_

**~Coldplay **_**(Viva la Vida).**_

_**. . .**_

The pirate lies on his ship's deck, and it sways gently. _Back in Storybrooke_. He thinks. It's been days, days since Peter was defeated, days since Wendy and her brothers resided with Neal.

Days since Emma and Neal _kissed _in front of Hook. Since Tink managed to switch Charming's curse over to Pan. Days since Belle and Rumplestitsken disappeared somewhere.

Days.

Happy endings, oh joy. Happy endings to all. But there was one who was forgotten. Hook stares up at the dark, starry sky. He misses her, the goddamn blond girl who stole his heart. But it's quite, obvious, everyday that passes, that she doesn't love him.

Probably never will. As Hook lies there, knowing his happy ending will most likely never come, he sighs. At least hers will.

_At least hers will._

And, God, he wans to be selfish _so _often, maybe that was his fault. Selfishness. But Hook knows it isn't. His fault?

He holds grudges far to often, and takes them to great extents (living forever to kill Rumplestitsken for example. Peter Pan, another. Baelfire, now).

He stares up at the sky, and slowly drifts off. His last thought is fairly simple.

_If only they could see me now. Sometimes it's like I'm two men._

_**. . .**_

_"Killian Jones."_

_The man turns, "Who goes there?" He swipes his sword out, standing ready._

_A man steps out of the shadows. He wore a short ponytail, and... A uniform._

_A Navy unifrom._

_Killian Jones and Captain Hook stared at each other. "Oh, bloody hell... Listen, I go by Captain Hook now. And, if you could just-"_

_"_Hook_." Killian says. Hook raises a brow. Killian laughs, "Hook! How briliant. Seeing as you've got a hook on your hand and all."_

_"Are you making fun of me? We are the same person you know." Hook says._

_But Killian shakes his head. "No, I'm afraid not, _Hook_. I'm a solier. You are a pirate. I know who I am. You... Seem to be very hooked on being unsure. I'm not in love and giving up. You are."_

_Hook bristles, "Well, I am a better soldier than you _ever _were! I am not blinded by a corrupt king. I do know who I am! Hook, a pirate, a gentlmen. I am in love, and I am _not _giving up. I'm choosing to not be selfish."_

_"There is a difference between giving up and being selfish, _Captain. _I didn't know you were not aware of that."_

_Hook says nothing._

_Killian smiles lightly. "She's one hell of a girl, Hook. Don't waist this. Show her who you are." He winks, "I was always the better part of you."_

_"Shut up."_

_"You should wake up now."_

_"What?"_

_"Bye."_

_**. . .**_

Hook wakes with a start. It's strange, but this dream has occured a lot lately. But this is not what wakes him. _There's someone next to him._

"Hook?" It's a girl's voice. Small and afraid.

Emma.

"What the-bloody hell Emma! Do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah."

Hook sits up, "Then _what _do you want?"

"Hook... I can't sleep there." Emma states. Her voice is so very quiet, and Hook barely catches her next sentence, "_They're _there."

They. It doesn't take Hook a second to know, they is Charming and Snow. "And you want to sleep _here_." Emma nods. "On my ship." Another nod. "With me." Emma rolls her eyes.

Hook doesn't smile. His eyes hold no amuesment. "What of Baelfire?"

"Henry's with him, Wendy, and Micheal and John. I doubt he'd be happy to see me. We sorta got into fight."

Hook raises a brow, "What about?"

Emma shakes her head, indicating that that topic is off limits. Hook sighs, and takes off his overcoat. He lays it next to him. "Well, lie down. I'm going to sleep." Hook says, and closes his eyes.

But Emma's breathing doesn't slow. Finally, Hook says, "Emma, why can't you stay with your parents?" He already has a guess, but he needs to here it from her.

"Because, they're my _parents._ They're having issues, and truth be told, as much as they say they love me, I can tell, they love each other more. Always will." Emma says, and Hook shakes his head. He can't really argue with that, it's true.

And it's hurtful, becuase parents are supposed to be bonded over their children. But this family, the Charmings, are not bonded this way. Snow and Charming love each other first, and Emma second. Emma has been left out, not loved enough, and Hook knows all-too-well how this feels like. "Well, lass, here's a word of advice: just come here. Pay them no mind, and everyone else who loves you second."

Emma stares, "Yeah. And how about you, Hook? Should I ignore you?"

Hook smirks, "Emma Swan, I've told you many times, to love me is your choice. I won't argue, I can't change your heart's desire. But I will always love you first."

"Even before your rum?"

Hook hesitates. "Even before that." He finally says, and smiles. A silence settles, and finally, when the two are almost asleep, Emma mumbles something that later on, Hook thinks he's only imagined.

"We were fighting about you." Emma says, "I told Neal I liked you. Hook. _We were fighting about you._"

_**. . .**_

_"Stars fading but I linger on dear_

_Still craving your kiss_

_I'm longing to linger till dawn dear."_

**~Micheal Buble **_**(Dream a Little Dream of Me).**_

_"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?_

_That's all right because I like the way it hurts._

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?_

_Well that's all right because I love the way you lie."_

**~Eminem & Rhianna **_**(Love the Way You Lie).**_

_**. . .**_

_So, I'm thinking of making this a threeshot, maybe a little longer, but not much. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Review please!_

_This chapter is dedicated to: Captain Hook! For being the sassiest pirate ever. And of course, his portrayer, Collin! And of course Jenniffer, Emma's portrayer._

_Songs used in this chapter: __**Iris**__, by __**Goo Goo Dolls**__. It's an amazing song that inspired me for the plot of this chapter! Check it out.__**Viva la Vida**__, by __**Coldplay**__. This song inspired me for the dream scene between Killian Jones and Captain Hook. __**Dream a Little Dream of Me**__, by __**Micheal Buble**__. This one isnpired me for Emma's coming onto the ship and asking to crash. __**Love the Way You Lie**__, by __**Eminem and Rhianna**__. This one's the one that tuned in Hook's hurt emotions for me. Also, it sorta helped me map out Emma's hurt towards her parents._

_THANKS Y'ALL! BYE!_


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